Colm's Disorganization Disaster

This is my laundry room, shop and storage room. It was last organized in December, and two months later...I again don't know where to begin. I have lived here since I was 11 and bought the townhome off my parents 10 years ago. My wife and I are raising our family in the same home I was raised. No matter how hard my family tries (and boy have we all tried), this area of the house has always been the same for 27 years.

I know the problem is proper storage and organizing compartments, but I don't know where to begin with that either. The rest of the house is very neat and organized but this is just ugly. But we have a three-point survival plan:

1. Laundry: keep your elbows in, and fold elsewhere! 
2. If the Kids want to ride their bikes: I say, "Bikes? I didn't see any bikes. Hey honey, the kids say they have bikes...do you know anything about that?" My wife will answer with a well practiced "no", and the kids will look at us like we are idiots or out of our minds
3. My Shop (loaded with all the tools needed): I could build some storage shelves...if I had...well...some storage shelves to get all of this stuff out of the way so that I could set up the tools (or at least get at them) to build some!

This contest has helped me realize that this one area of my home is a proven family genetic weakness...like baldness, poor vision or brown hair. Is it possible that this relates somehow to Darwin's theory of natural selection? Could it be that my blood line is destined for extinction due to a very focused area of incessant disarray? Well, okay, I'm exaggerating a touch, but I could really use your help.

Colm